When I look back

Its my story on my Birthday.

Last year was more blessed. Thank you. I told God this birthday morning
Was it? God asked me. I became little confused for a moment. Was it blessed? 

Did I achieved everything I wanted? No.. no. I have not achieved anything you wanted to achieve... 
Oh no! then what was that I achieved? What was God doing? I asked God. He show me what He was doing in my life last year. Wow... God was helping me to achieve what He wanted me to achieve. 


LAST YEAR I ACHIEVED WHAT GOD WANTED ME TO ACHIEVE, NOT WHAT I WANTED TO.

Did I earn a good money last year?

Oh no I have earned nothing as I dreamed. I was left alone and in need. I had no balance in my bank. My supporters were told not support me again. Oh No... I was trapped in my financial commitments... What was God doing? I asked God. He show me how He carried in His hands when I had no road to walk. He gave me better people like never before. 

LAST YEAR GOD PAID ALL MY DUES AND I WAS BLESSED IN DOUBLE 

Did I had a peaceful and satisfied ministry last year? No.. I was rejected when tried to become more effective, thrown out when I came in with more souls, Humiliated when I tried to raise them up.. I was sentenced to inactivate..
What was God doing? I asked God. Was it really like that? He asked me. Remember what I did for you. I tried to recollect everything. I was not thrown out.. God was taking me away.. I spoke to the larges group of students this year than any past years.. I received more responses.. I spoke in some prestigious institutions to the audience was more eligible than me. God was taking me in His glory and using mightily.

LAST YEAR GOD TAUGHT ME THAT HE WAS HELPING  DOING HIS MINISTRY AND NOT MY PLANS AND FEELINGS

Did I made better relations last year? No... My long term friends went away... the people who knew me inside out said they dont know me... The people I wanted to put my trust cheated me. My relationships were in big trouble last year.
What was God doing? I asked God. God told me that He wanted me to come out of fake relations and find the genuine. He raise people with pure heart to stand along with me. He assign people in every need to come out and uphold me. He helped me to find real friends who stand along in trouble.

GOD TOLD ME HE IS THE HEALER OF BROKEN HEARTS

We chat much more. He answered me and every answer was perfect. At last He told me 

SON, I HAVE PLACED YOU WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW AS MY SERVANT. DO JUST WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO FOR ME IN THIS NEW YEAR

I understood the part of Lord's Prayer "Let your will be done". 
I said Amen.
Then He told me a story .

Brenda was a young woman who was invited to go rock climbing. Although she was scared to death, she went with her group to a tremendous granite cliff. In spite of her fear, she put on the gear, took a hold on the rope, and started up the face of that rock.

Well, she got to a ledge where she could take a breather. As she was hanging on there, the safety rope snapped against Brenda’s eye and knocked out her contact lens.

Well, here she is on a rock ledge, with hundreds of feet below her and hundreds of feet above her. Of course, she looked and looked and looked, hoping it had landed on the ledge, but it just wasn’t there.

Here she was, far from home, her sight now blurry. She was desperate and began to get upset, so she prayed to the Lord to help her to find it.

When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but there was no contact lens to be found. She sat down, despondent, with the rest of the party waiting for the rest of them to make it up the face of the cliff. She looked out across range after range of mountains, thinking of that Bible verse that says, “The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth.” She thought, “Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where my contact lens is. Please help me.

Finally, they walked down the trail to the bottom.

At the bottom there was a new party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, “Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?”

Well, that would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An ant was moving slowly across the face of the rock, carrying it.

Brenda told me that her father is a cartoonist. When she told him the incredible story of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he drew a picture of an ant lugging that contact lens with the words, “Lord, I don’t know why You want me to carry this thing. I can’t eat it, and it’s awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do, I’ll carry it for You.”

At the risk of being accused of being fatalistic, I think it would probably do some of us good to occasionally say, “God, I don’t know why you want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it’s awfully heavy. But, if you want me to carry it, I will.”

God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.